Late Night Comedy Monologues Through the Ages – Invention of the Wheel

Good evening.

Did you hear about this guy, Grog who invented something called the wheel? Although, pardon me, he now insists on being called Grog the Inventor.

It’s a round wooden disk he claims will make life less unbearable. Hey, if it can stop my wife from complaining about being eaten alive by wild animals, I’m all for it.

They say this wheel could advance civilization. Call me old fashioned but I like carrying heavy loads on my back until I collapse.

And you know the minute Grog told his girlfriend he invented the wheel she said, “Big deal, Loana’s boyfriend invented fire.”

They say the wheels work best in pairs. Of course, they do; they’re always trying to sell you something extra.

I was actually thinking about buying a used wheel. The salesman said it was owned by a little old lady who only drove to scare evil spirits on Sunday.

We hope you enjoy the rest of the show, if we’re not attacked by a neighboring tribe.

Ben Alper writes for late night talk show hosts, comedians and things. He is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”