Late Night Comedy Monologues Through the Ages – President William Howard Taft

Rumor has it that President William Howard Taft, who weighs in at 350 pounds, got stuck in a White House bath tub and needed six men to pull him free. That’s a big president. How big?

He’s so big he buys his suits at a circus tent store.

He’s so big his motto his “Remember the Maine Course.”

He’s so big he vetoes any bill that doesn’t include a dessert menu.

He’s so big Teddy Roosevelt mistook one of his chins for San Juan Hill.

He’s so big his most important cabinet position is reaching in one for a drumstick.

He’s so big he’s not only a trust buster, he’s a button popper.

He’s so big his shadow blocks out Maryland.

But we love the president.

Ben Alper writes for late night talk show hosts, comedians and things. He is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s