Late Night Comedy Monologues Through the Ages – Elisha Otis Invents the Elevator

Tonight’s guest is Elisha Otis who’s invented a contraption called the elevator. It’s a tiny room that moves people up and down in buildings. Do you know what this means? We can now experience what it’s like to be a plate of baked potatoes riding in a dumbwaiter.

Can you imagine experiencing the feeling of a room rising and lowering without having one drink?

The elevator is pulled up and down with a thin metal cable strong enough to support at least three pianos or six overweight relatives.

Imagine the interesting conversations you’ll have riding down from the fourth floor: “How are you?”, “Nice hat”, “Do you think we’ll crash?”

Here’s a thought: How about putting a small band in the elevator for background music – or at the very least, a guy who can whistle a lot of tunes.

I’d install one, if only to lower me into the pit where my writers work.

According to Mr. Otis, orders for his elevator have been flying in – including many from short men who’ve only dreamed of kissing a tall woman.

Ben Alper writes for late night talk show hosts, comedians and things. He is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”

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