I’ve Got to Stop Meeting Like This

living_alone_03bIntroverts need a certain amount of alone time – for example, to recover after Cindy in sales punishes you for 120 minutes with her vacation plans to Disney World.

There is a point, however, where solitude becomes isolation. Here are some signs you need to get out more:

  • You’re inflatable doll says she wants to start seeing other people.
  • You recently became a Home Shopping Club Platinum Lifetime Member.
  • You’re on a first name basis with each of your toes.
  • Your one hermit friend says you’re starting to freak him out.
  • You ran out of deodorant in 1982.
  • You’ve been trying to find a doctor who performs home colonoscopies.
  • You’ve started replacing words with grunts.
  • Even the Jehovah’s Witnesses have stopped knocking on your door.
  • You’re binge-watching Vintage Weather Reports on Netflix.
  • Your boyfriend, with whom you’ve only communicated via Skype, is starting to wonder if you’re computer generated.