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Introvert Couple of the Week

Artist’s models never hide anything from each other.

quiet_naked_couple_04bSheila and Hank are nude artist’s models and introverts. In addition to being passionate about standing quietly unclothed for hours, they also share a love for deep conversation and perfectly sculptured love handles.

Hank: Being an artist’s model is my life. It’s the only job I’ve ever had where no one asks me, “Why aren’t you talking?”

Sheila: For years, I had a job giving out free samples in supermarkets. It was too much pressure. Too much human interaction. Too many salty snacks. One day I just snapped. I took off my apron and stood naked in Isle nine. I froze. No matter how hard I tried, I could not say “Would you like to try a gluten-free cheese ball?” As I was being led out of the building, I thought, “I’m nude and silent and have never felt so alive.” After having a newly-discovered mole removed, I immediately applied for a job as an artist’s model.

Hank: We met on the dating website, EmbarrassingRashMates dot com. Our first date was at a small, intimate café. We spent the whole evening talking about allergic eczema.

Sheila: We quickly realized we had so much in common: an appreciation for solitude, quiet thoughtful conversation and an aversion to cold metal seats

Hank: I feel blessed Sheila has chosen me to not share her most trivial thoughts with.

Sheila: We can be happy simply lying in each other’s arms, not talking about the weather. In fact, we could not talk all night.

Hank: Sheila has made me a better artist’s model. Before I met her, I would sometimes stand for hours, obsessing about a horsefly walking across my buttock. Now I think about the two of us, standing lovingly hand-in-hand, avoiding eye contact with an IKEA salesperson.

Sheila: Hank knows me better than anyone. I may earn a living posing naked in front of art students, but I’ve never exposed my heart to anyone but him – and the surgical team that performed my triple bypass.

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