Last year, I joined the “Do a Good Deed or Die Doing It Club.” I pledged to brighten up every introvert I know – whether they liked it or not.
So far, I’m batting zero and totally depressed. Introverts are now approaching ME and asking, “Are you okay?”
I don’t understand.
Each time I try to console an introvert friend in need, their reaction is always the same:
“I am happy.”
“Just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.”
“What part of ‘Leave me alone’ don’t you understand?”
“Excuse me, this is a private funeral.”
“Didn’t you read the restraining order?”
I wish I could convince my socially adverse friends that being more approachable brings immeasurable joy into their lives. If only they knew the pleasure I feel each time a co-worker I vaguely know approaches me and proceeds to talk non-stop about her upcoming colonoscopy.
I understand never smiling has its advantages. For example, you always look like your driver’s license photo. Also, it can be helpful in professions like multi-national corporation CEO or freelance dominatrix. And yes, there is something sexy about clenched teeth and a guttural growl.
But I can’t believe introverts with gloomy demeanors are really happy – especially the ones who see me approaching.
Mark Loofton is a door-to-door doorbell salesman. He holds the Guinness World Records for longest period of time without taking no for an answer.