Every year, we recall famous people who have passed during the previous 12 months. But what about those born in 2024 who will go on to be famous and infamous? Here are just a few.
- In 3024, Carl Hankman will be the first 100-year-old influencer to gain more than one trillion followers – most of them from other solar systems.
- In 2058, Feminist Judy Anyday will become the first woman to marry a transgender robot named Laverne – only to have the marriage annulled after Laverne confesses it’s still married to a solar-powered toilet plunger.
- In 2072, Debra Hanson will seal her role as a fashion icon when she invents the reversable thong.
- In 2063, Neil Caron will star in Netflix’ ground-breaking 59-part documentary about a man who spends his entire life watching bread turn stale.
- In 2031, Delores Rotenberg will become the world’s longest serving flight attendant at 106-years old – and break another record the next year by becoming the world’s longest serving flight attendant to go on maternity leave.
- In 2052, Mets first baseman Charlie Campbell will lead his team to the World Series, then later admit an implanted android was telling him which pitches to swing at.
- In 3012, Vincent Diorio will become the first openly heterosexual man to write a how-to sex guide for lesbians.
- In 2058, Erin Rapoza will clone herself. She and her twin Louisa will spend the rest of their lives hopelessly trying to resolve petty issues in couples therapy.
- In 3063, New York Times reporter Leon Yang will win his third Pulitzer Prize for his ground-breaking investigative series: “Barron Trump’s Lifelong Quest to Change His Name, Sex and Planet of Origin.”
- In 2038, famed dermatologist Sheila Mandel will discover that Botox also makes a great dessert topping.
Comedy writer Ben Alper has written for Jay Leno, David Letterman and others. He is the author of “Live From the Beginning of Time: Late Night Comedy Monologues Through the Ages”
Living Inside My Head 