$ol’s $uper $ilent $pecials

salesman_01Hi Friend, You’re an intelligent introvert.

  • Do you value silence?
  • Do you desire tranquility?
  • Do you crave serenity?
  • Do you want to save money?

You’re in luck!

This week is my annual Super Silence Explosion!!!

Check out these fabulous deals:

  • $1 buys you a moment of silence without having to contemplate a dear friend or relative’s passing.
  • $5 gets you a complete trip through a supermarket checkout line without being forced to discuss dairy products with chatty shoppers.
  • $25 earns you the right to read a book on a park bench without people assuming you’re trying to be noticed.
  • $100 gives you permission to report to Homeland Security without guilt the guy who keeps going “pssssst” in the library.
  • $250 entitles you to an entire dinner without anyone asking, “Why are you do quiet?”
  • $500 purchases a roomy isolation tank with WiFi and a fully-stocked mini bar.
  • $1000 sends you to a some-expenses-paid vacation on the abandoned tropical island.

Our experienced sales staff is eager help you achieve inner calm at rock bottom prices.

So what are you waiting for? Come on down!