All We Are Saying Is Give Introversion a Chance

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Did you ever wonder what it would be like if everyone was an introvert?

  • Everybody could feel alone together.
  • No more small talk. Simple greetings would last for days.
  • Nobody would go to parties where they didn’t know anybody, thus eliminating parties.
  • Dance floors would be equipped with individual booths so no one is the center of attention.
  • On the slim chance people came to a party and they didn’t know each other, it would be considered good manners to silently grab something to eat and leave.
  • All classroom seats would be located at the back of the room where everyone could avoid being noticed.
  • As a precaution, designated introverts would be assigned to call other introverts and say, “You haven’t left your apartment since 2009. Let’s go out and throw the Frisbee.”
  • Meetings would end sooner since no one would talk just to hear the sound of their voice.
  • A successful job interview would consist of being unapproachable and not making eye contact.
  • The phrase “the more the merrier” would be outlawed.