10 Signs You’re Not A Good Introvert

inept_introvert_01You can’t stand being around people, and you’d rather get a cavity filled by a discredited shopping mall dentist than engage in small talk. There’s no doubt you’re an introvert.

But are you a good introvert? Here are some indications you may have work to do:

  • It’s admirable you welcome solitude but did you know Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter for president?
  • You’re not a good writer. In fact, you think alienation is a planet from a Star Wars movie.
  • You notice details that others don’t. Unfortunately, you notice them while peering into your neighbor’s bedroom with a high-powered telescope.
  • You’re sensitive. You frequently break into tears but only when people ask, “Do you want fries with that?”
  • You look at the big picture, although you were recently arrested for helping some guys get the big picture out of an art museum.
  • You seek profound and meaningful conversations. However, your UPS delivery man is getting tired of your questions about existentialism in the era of shipping bar codes.
  • You’re a loyal companion, but did you have to talk your best friend through her first lovemaking experience?
  • You can get high on being alone. It shouldn’t, however, be the same high you get from taking tainted mushrooms.
  • Being unimpulsive is good but not while 500 people in line at Old Country Buffet are waiting for you to decide between carrots and peas.
  • Yes, introverts intrigue people. Don’t assume that’s why a scientist is attaching electrodes to your head.