My heart has visiting hours for you

I am looking for: A woman who will share my hopes, my dreams, my time zone.

Occupation: Online chiropractor

Education: Bachelor in arts, Hampshire College, majored in Science Fiction, minored in 23rd Century Literature

Proudest accomplishment: In a previous life I conceived the idea for the marshmallow while watching Joan of Arc burn at the stake.

Last great book I read: “Eat Pray Love from the Privacy of Your Home”

Music that puts me in the mood: The Velvet Underground Sings the Cole Porter Songbook, Vol. 2

Favorite movie: “All Quiet on the Western Front” It makes me long for the serenity of World War I.

My perfect getaway weekend: Flying to Zurich on my private jet, making passionate love at the airport, then flying back.

The five items I can’t live without: George Foreman Isolation tank, Daily 16-hour meditation, iPad, mePad, mylfPad.

Turn ons: Lusty Esperanto accent, Slender hand waving goodbye, Playful inner voices.

Turn offs: Talking about the weather (hot looking weatherwomen excluded), Being told I look like a James Bond villain, Inner voices that don’t respect my space.

More About Me: I’m just an average guy who lives alone on my private island somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. I value my solitude, having last encountered another human in 1992. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room in my heart for a special woman — if you don’t mind living in my guest compound. I won’t lie; I’ve been called eccentric. But who are you going to trust, me or 30 eminently qualified psychiatrists and a government profiler?

What I’m looking for: I’d love to meet that special woman who knows the difference between being treasured and being held captive against her will. If you’ve dreamed about spending the rest of your life with a terrific guy via close circuit TV, dream no further. I can have a driver at your door within 30 seconds.