Todd Gellman

Being an introvert used to depress me. Then I read an Internet article that changed my life: “Twenty Thousand Fabulous Things about Introverts” by Naomi Lobotoberg. I learned that my life isn’t horrible and depressing; it’s great!

I discovered I’m not a lonely guy longing to connect with the rest of the world. I’m a solitary individual who feels more comfortable spending weekends alone, wondering what it’s like to have a girlfriend.

I used to hate going to parties at which I didn’t know anyone. I’d struggle with small talk and counted the seconds before I could make my escape. Naomi has taught me to celebrate my ability to barely get through the evening without wetting my pants.

Spending much time in my head used to depress me. No more! Yesterday, I thought, “I feel good about myself” 500,000 times!

I’ve learned how to be a pretend extrovert. With only a small amount of anxiety, I can interrupt co-workers again and again until I’m asked to leave the meeting.

People used to think I was aloof. I felt hurt and alienated. Now I don’t pay attention to those fools and I feel pumped!

Before, I couldn’t respond quickly to people’s questions. I’ve learned to relax and say, “Give me 10 minutes and I’ll tell you the Emergency Room phone number.”

I could provide countless other examples of how Naomi Lobotoberg’s insight has changed my life. If you want to celebrate your introversion, craw into a fetal position and read “Twenty Thousand Fabulous Things about Introverts.” As Naomi says, “Things couldn’t get worse.”

Todd Gellman is a senior data analyst. His desk has been featured in “Better Cubicles and Conference Rooms “magazine.