Ask Dr. Introvert




Are shy people introverts? Many people are shy but shyness and introversion are two different types of personality characteristics. Extroverts can also be shy, although they prefer being in a large group of people when wetting their pants in fear.
Why are introverts so quiet? Introverts are often consumed with deep and profound thoughts like, “How can mankind sustain itself?” or “Should I order pepperoni or sausage pizza?”
Are all introverts sensitive? No, but most are. And the ones who are sensitive can easily detect mood shifts in their friends and pet turtles.
Do introverts hate people? That’s a terrible misconception. I could never like you for thinking that.
Does a person’s upbringing affect whether they will be an introvert? Only if his or her parents name them Johnny Depp or Eleanor Roosevelt.
Why do introverts dislike small talk? Introverts enjoy deeper conversation. They don’t understand that small talk will actually lead them to the bigger topics. If you want to make them feel comfortable, greet them by saying, “Hi, I’m (your name), nice Nuclear Arms Limitation Treaty Talks we’ve been having.”
Can drugs change an introvert into an extrovert? Aside from the Incredible Hulk, no.

Dr. Introvert (not her real name), a board certified psychologist, treats patients suffering from Anthropophobia, Coulrophobia, and anyone who pays in cash. She is the past president of Doctors without Borders and Ethics.

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