Join subconscious spiritual guide, Madame Carma Dioxide on a divine voyage to your most inner introvert.
The itinerary includes her sacred-palooza seminars:
- Traveling the Quiet Expressed – Madame Dioxide leads you on a meditative excursion where silence is golden and tipping is forbidden.
- The Zen of Aloneness and Binge Watching – Spend an entire weekend at Madame’s astoundingly beautiful Santa Barbara retreat while viewing every episode of Netflix’ “House of Cards” in a sensory deprivation tank (single tanks are extra). Price includes all the frozen pizza and Ben & Jerrys you can eat.
- Toastmasters of the Soul – Learn to trust your inner monologue and better communicate with your unspoken voices. Emphasis on presentation, confidence and grammar.
- I’m Beginning to See the Fright – Do you feel you’re suffocating when you’re in a crowd? It’s time to acknowledge and face your fear. Join countless other introverts in Madame’s small “purification” hut. We’ll confront our demons and sweat off a few pounds.
- Small Talk Survivors Group – Share your experiences with other non–judgmental survivors in a safe space. Topics include “Beyond ‘Nice to meet you’ ” and “Getting past ‘So what do you do for a living?’.”
Madame Dioxide’s weekend retreat also includes a free seminar, Total Mind/Body/Spirit/Alignment and Rotation led by her live-in boyfriend, Master Yogi Goodwrench.
Price includes lodging, meals, and a T-shirt.
“Madame Carma Dioxide’s will lead you to a quiet, tranquil world. She is unquestionably nothingness personified.” – Sixpak Chopra