When did you first know you wanted to get into freak-show business? – Ned, Overbite, PA
I was never much of a people person, so that ruled out middle management. Then a promoter approached me about sitting quietly in a chair on stage. I immediately thought, “This is so me.”
Does it bother you that most people are repulsed by your physical appearance? – Jeannette, Lumpy, IL
Not at all. The last thing I want to do at social gatherings is talk to strangers. Normally, I bring a book and sit by myself. Not once has anyone ever said, “Hi, what are you reading?”
Do you ever think about what your life would be like if you weren’t the Elephant Man? – Paul, Quirky, WI
Never! I am not an animal! I am an introvert! Every night women throw their hotel keys at me and then spend the rest of the evening avoiding eye contact. Who could ask for anything more?
If you could switch places with anyone temporarily, who would it be? – Candace, Fibro, AZ
My feminine side has always been curious about the Bearded Lady, but I think I’d go with Tony Bennett, if only to experience mastering the American Songbook.
What advice would you give to other abnormal human beings? – Vince, Love Canal, NY
I never worry about what other people think, mainly because I’m an introverted aberration, not a shy oddity. I also have other tips which you can read in my new book, “Thirty Days to a Less Frightening You.”