Introverts hate small talk. It’s nothing personal but they have better things to do than partake in normal social interaction. How can you expect them to say hello when they’re obsessing about that piece of food stuck in your teeth? It doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to extroverts; they’re just anxious to get to the heart of the matter: the who, why, where, and what’s with the pierced nose stuff.
You have to be careful with introverts. Just saying hello to one may cause their eyes to glaze over. Use the following Small to Large Talk Conversion chart to remove some of the uneasiness from your conversations.
| Instead of saying: | Try: |
| Hi. | I bet you’re wondering why I’m sporting cleavage down to the wazoo at this funeral. |
| What do you do for a living? | You look like a doctor friend of mine who went to jail for illegally prescribing OxyContin. |
| I’m an accountant. | Most people think I’m boring because I’m an accountant, but there are many other reasons I put people to sleep. |
| Nice party. | This should be interesting. Alice doesn’t know her ex-husband and his new girlfriend are coming. |
| How do you know the hosts? | I was hired to defend Bob and Gail during that illegal nanny business. And you? |
| Do you have the time? | I have to get home soon. My boyfriend is starring in a new reality show called “Who Wants to be a Transsexual.” |
| It was nice meeting you. | Wait till I tell my wife I met the guy who broke up her sister’s marriage. |
Living Inside My Head 