He: I love that you respect my space. Let’s meet in the living room on Thursday.
She: It’s wonderful we don’t clutter our lives with meaningless small talk. I just wish there was a way I could tell you we’re out of toilet paper.
He: Did I tell you how much I cherish you, that my life began when we first met, and my existence is meaningless without you? Or was I talking to myself?
She: I treasure that I don’t have to explain my peaceful silent nature to you, and why it’s so exhausting for me to say, “I treasure that I don’t have to explain my peaceful silent nature to you.”
He: You’re the first person who’s never asked me, “What are you thinking?” Even when I was having a seizure.
She: I will never ask why I’ve never met your family. Your pod story is good enough for me.
He: It’s wonderful we never have house guests. It means more onion dip for us.
She: I feel closest to you when you respect my need to be alone, especially when I’m wearing headphones during sex.
He: My darling, I want you to know how much I love you, but this conversation is exhausting. I need to take a quiet three-hour walk to decompress.
She: My dearest love, I don’t think I can speak another word, either. I’ll text you next week from my sensory deprivation tank.