Comments While Watching First Manned Hot Air Balloon Flight Over Paris

Balloon shla-moon. That’s a big fat pigeon.

Why didn’t they just fill a horse with hot air?

Do you think it could carry me from the kitchen to the dining room?

Impressive but where do the servants ride?

That reminds me; I need to see a doctor about my giant swollen testicle.

If man were meant to fly, God would’ve given him a softer tush to land on.

What a letdown! I thought “untethered” meant naked from the waist up.

No, they’re waving at me.

Ben Alper writes for late night talk show hosts, comedians and things. He is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”